Single and Married Christians Need Each Other
I’ve been single, let my momma tell it, my whole life, but the truth is I’ve been single for 11 years. Having moved around the country a bit has allowed me the opportunity to make friends, well, all over. In each city, I joined churches and served. What became abundantly clear is that we are stronger together.
While I was living in Brooklyn, I joined one of the most diverse churches since my childhood. We had the young and old, the single and married, lawyers and students, folks from each corner of the globe. It was beautiful. Sometime after joining, I was in a position of great need, and a married couple opened their home to me. I lived with them for three months before transitioning to another state. The kindness they showed me has never been forgotten. After that, I moved two more times, and during each transition, it was a married couple that opened their home and allowed me to stay for one week while I was getting everything moved out before shipping off.
A close family friend who is more like family than a friend has twin boys. They are smart, handsome, and twins. On several occasions, my sister, who is single, and or I have gone to help with the kids. We’ve done everything from cooking and cleaning to good old fashion babysitting. Once I went up for a week to visit; Mom and Dad just looked exhausted. I suggested that they take a night away. I would watch the children and do bedtime for the balance of the week. The next morning, when Mom and Dad came home, she hugged me and said thank you. It was my pleasure. I love those boys, watching them, and putting them to bed was a huge treat for me. This same mom of two, made time for me when I was going through a difficult time at work. She did everything from draft email responses to simply listening.
A dear friend of mine, who when I met, was a single lady, is now married with two little ones. She has been a present help in times of trouble. Though her availability has surely changed, our bond is still strong. One particular day, I was in desperate need of an encouraging word. I called her, and she stayed on the phone with me for over an hour, listening and saying exactly what I needed to hear. I went to visit this same friend, and she needed a little help with her daughter's hair. Her little girl is tender-headed just like me, so I understood immediately. We went shopping, picked up hair accessories, and I got the huge treat of doing her hair twice while visiting.
These are small acts with a huge impact. From having a place to stay to help right when you need it, these things matter. Diversity exists because God created it. If he wanted us all to be the same, think the same, and do the same thing, he wouldn’t have created us so differently. Single and married people have a lot to offer each other. And we are both equal members of the family of God, and, like a family, we support each other in times of need. My being able to visit a friend for a week and help out in many ways was made possible because I am single with no children. This is not to say that married people don’t help married people; I’m saying this is how God used me. My friends’ opening their doors to me gave me a window into the beauty and work of married life while also exposing them to the beauty and work of single life.
I am truly grateful that the Lord has blessed me with the friends I have. They are caring, loving, and some of the most genuine people you’ll ever meet. I am thankful for the opportunity to be in their lives and for them to be in mine. The truth is, we need each other. My friendships are not optional; they are an absolute requirement. We are different on purpose, and our differences strengthen our bond. The more diversity you have in a room, the more colorful the conversations will be. The greater the exposure to new ideas and things you may not have considered.
