Bio

Finding Me

I decided to move back to Brooklyn. I had never lived on my own before, and it was great. It opened me up to financial independence, and it pushed me to make decisions for myself. This was an area I needed to grow in. I recall this one time I had a decision to make and I kept calling my mom and then my sister and back to my mom. I was frantic to get them on the phone as if I was incapable of making any decisions for myself without hashing every tiny detail over with them. It took me many years and an infinite amount of small and large decisions to develop my own intuition and wisdom to finally arrive at a place where I was capable of making major decisions completely on my own. I want to make clear that I value my friends and family’s wisdom and insight immensely and still glean from their words today. However, when called upon, I am able to make the decision between a spiced chai latte and a mocha all by myself! 

Let’s go back for a moment. I originally moved to Brooklyn in 2005 and later decided to move back home in 2009. At the time, I thought moving back to Long Island was the worst thing ever. I felt like I was pausing the progress I had made. What I realize now is that it was a timely pivot. I moved back for a year almost to the date. In that time, I worked and spent time with my family and friends, whom I cherish. By the time the summer rolled around, I was ready to move back to Brooklyn, this time on my own. I remember getting a call about a one-bedroom that was available in a building I loved…I wanted it sight unseen and was fortunate enough to sign the lease. This move changed the course of my life.

At the time, I got approved for the apartment, I didn’t even have a job. But I had a fire inside me and was determined to not fail! I took every babysitting opportunity and odd job I could. I remember I would come home with the cash and put it in an envelope in the drawers of my nightstand. I didn’t spend anything until I had the rent money aside. It was empowering to see that I was both responsible and capable of taking care of myself. I enjoyed decorating my own apartment, entertaining my friends, and gardening. It was all my own space, and I loved every second of it. 

After about a month in that Bedstuy apartment, my mom called and asked if I would take Twain, our family dog. I enthusiastically said yes. Having him as a companion was comforting, and I am so glad I was able to experience caring for him. After a few years of working in Brooklyn, I decided to go back to school and choose my course of study all by myself! 
When I went back to school, I would come home in between classes, which was a forty-five-minute commute each way at best, to walk him and feed Twain before returning to school for my evening classes. It really prepared me for caring for my children, years later. 

I lived in that apartment for 12 years: I went back to college. I came into my own. I was happy.  I met my husband. I lost my mom. Months later, I had to say goodbye to Twain also. I had my first baby. I got pregnant with my second baby, all in that apartment. All of these things would’ve looked drastically different if I hadn’t left Long Island that summer and gone back to Brooklyn. Living on my own, experiencing struggle, and seeing that I could overcome hardships and achieve the goals I had set for my life. This story is part of who I am today. It was full of the best memories and some very heartbreaking ones as well. I would not change it at all, because it led me to the person I am today, just like the current chapter of my story will lead me to who I am tomorrow.